So I wanted to wait a few days and let Star Trek Discovery sink in, before I wrote anything about it. Now I’m ready. You may agree with my opinion of the show or disagree. Either way, you can sound off in the comments if you like.

I really wanted to like this new Star Trek show. I wanted to like it despite how terrible it looked. I wanted to like it despite the fact that Alex Kurtzman is involved. And despite that it looked like Jar Jar Abrams Star Trek, I entered into this world with an open mind. I have been a fan since TOS, all my life. It would be so great to have a new Star Trek show. Gotta keep an open mind. But not so open that you cling to garbage just because it has the name Star Trek on the tin. So here we go. It is beginning.

Holy crap! This show looks amazing. Such sweeping visuals. Maybe I’ll like this after all……

Two hours later…

Wait- WTF! That was entertaining, but it wasn’t Star Trek. The fact that it is wrapped in a Star Trek label is just plain sad. A few points in no particular order:

Spoilers ahead people! Pew pew pew!

I actually found Captain Georgiou to be a pretty cool character in some respects. She has a certain gravitas and comes off quite capable. Until you realize that she is an idiot. It is one thing to be friends with your Number One and have fun banter, but this woman lets her first officer browbeat her regularly, tell her what to do and step all over her. It’s called boundaries people. If you don’t know what that is in this situation look up Picard and Riker as well as Kirk and Spock. Friends AND professionals. So right off the bat, this woman who I would really love otherwise just outs herself as a terrible Captain, but we can see behind the veil, so we know it is mostly just terrible writing. Learn how the military structure operates.

First Officer Michael Burnham. A woman named Michael. Aren’t we progressive? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. The character of Michael Burnham is hardly a character at all. Mentored by Sarek, (Spock’s Father. Sigh. Be original please.) her world was attacked by Klingons, even though no one has seen the Klingons in over 100 years. Burnham is appropriately named, because she has all the personality of a burned ham on the Thanksgiving table. It’s there, you can’t help but notice it, but it’s not enticing and just something to reach around to get at the mashed potatoes and turkey. She spends all of her screen time walking around wide-eyed and more than slightly tweaky like a crack addict. Seriously, go rewatch it. She bosses the Captain around, is pushy, arrogant and has an “I’m always right” attitude. At one point she pushes the science officer away from his station, butting in, because she can do it better. Why is such an instantly unlikable character the center of attention? Why should we care? Doesn’t matter because I don’t. She’s a jerk. And not the kind that people want to watch evolve. There’s not enough here to warrant interest.

The Klingons are all mush-mouthed and bizarre, although their part of the story is mildly interesting. The problem is that they sound terrible they way they talk slow and enunciate. So far I see no reason for their change in appearance and those prosthetics look God-awful. Even so, the Klingon side of the story flows way more natural than the the Federation side, which is just bizarre much of the time.

At one point Sarek’s hologram sits on Burnhams desk. WTF? Just a bizarre moment. And the fact that the Vulcan’s solution to the Klingon aggression was to always attack first… I can kind of see that. It’s even a cool idea. But bizarre and so not how Vulcans would choose to respond.

Also holograms are everywhere. I get that the tech has to be better than TOS in some respects, but things are WAY more advanced. That is honestly the least of my gripes. The Daft Punk headed crewman seems way over the top for instance.

So at one point Burnham betrays her Captain and everyone seems shocked. Uh, you created this monster with your lack of boundaries and let her walk all over you. Now you are surprised? God, the writing is just so so bad. And yet, this could be a great show. I love the visuals.

The ships. Oh the ships. Trek is known for it’s lovely ship designs. Almost every ship on screen so far has been ugly as a Ferengi butt after it was whipped with one of those lightsaber whips they used to carry. The Klingon ships especially are eyesores. Just ugly with no thought for design whatsoever. Fighting these ships is like firing phasers at a glob of poo. I’m not exaggerating. They’re ugly!

I could go on and on, but here’s the point. How did we get such crap Star Trek? Why do they not care? Well, partly because they know that a large amount of the fan population will just eat it up because it bears the name. These people never demand better and will accept anything. It’s the reason so many bad movies get made every year. They don’t think very deeply. I’ll leave it at that. The other factor is no doubt that corporate idiots have too much leeway here. But I think the real answer is staring us right in the face. The key is Michael Burnham.

You might remember the internet chatter a few weeks back about how they were going to make this Star Trek more politically relevant to our time. Especially when it comes to the recent election. Nothing wrong with that in general. It’s what Trek does best, but hear me out here. The problem is never that a show focuses on the politics of the time, the problem comes when the show is designed from the ground up with it’s own agenda. That is a recipe for disaster every time. I believe that is what is going on here. In other words, instead of promoting thought in a television show by examining issues in thought provoking ways, the intent is to socially engineer the audience from the start. No, I’m not a conspiracy theorist. It happens. Entertainments shapes us.

I won’t go into all of the ways, but it is very clear that this show does have it’s own political agendas. They clearly want to appeal to a younger audience. That’s cool and not unexpected. They see the audience as Michael Burnham.

The name alone implies gender identity issues that the kids are always going on about. Let’s make them identify with Michael then. What else can we do? Well, these Millennials always get the trophy, ya know? They are coddled. I know, let’s make her brash, kinda pushy, everything her way. She’s the Captain’s pet. Can get away with almost anything. Okay, okay. What would a millennial do in this situation? I got it. Make her run to Sarek for a pep talk instead of thinking things out. Then when she comes back out, she will have all the answers. And since decisions are hard, and lets face it there are no real consequences for her in this charmed life, let’s just make her commit mutiny. Sure, she’ll go to jail for like 10 hours and get back on a starship. Kids today can so identify. They’ll be brooding right along with her bitching about how it’s other people’s fault. Oh man, we got this! High five! Can one of them be gay? I don’t see why not.

Now, I’m not saying all millennials are like that obviously. There are some great strong kids out there. Smart as hell too. But this is the sector of youth they are appealing to. Maybe. If nothing else, it is food for thought. Because otherwise I can’t explain why they think this kind of writing is okay.

Look, I’ll probably watch more because I am genuinely fascinated in this social experiment and I’m having more fun wondering how dumbed down it will all get before it’s all over. The coming this season scenes were kind of hilarious.

For the record, I love what Star Trek stands for. I love the message of loving each other and being peaceful and accepting. I’ve based my life on it’s teachings in many ways. I could care less how many gay people, black people, or anyone else is on the show. Just create a show naturally and from the heart and your cast will be perfect. The show itself will be gold. Again, it’s the difference between something naturally unfolding in an organic way and someone trying to force values down your throat. I think that’s the issue many people are having with this show. It will be interesting to see what happens here.

I can’t emphasize just how ugly those Klingon ships are!